What does this term mean? What specifically are you letting go of? Letting go means different things for different people but overall it means letting go of old, worn out patterns of behavior that no longer suit you in recovery.
Letting go of people, places, and things that jeopardize your recovery efforts. Letting go of self-doubt and self-blame that keep you stuck. Letting go of pride and perfectionism, which are unrealistic expectations of yourself. Letting go of negative thoughts and feelings that no longer serve you.
How does one “let go”? This will be a different answer for each person. Letting go is not just about letting go of your addiction but letting go of old behaviors that kept you in the addiction. You let go by not being hard on yourself during recovery. There are challenges that everyone faces in recovery and you do not need to change everything overnight. Allow yourself the time to heal and to rediscover yourself.
Let go of the blame game and focus on what you are grateful for in recovery. Blaming others for your hardships during recovery hurts only yourself. There are ups and downs in recovery, just like in life. Let go by allowing life to happen and understand that you are only in control of yourself, not others.
Let go of the anger you have and the guilt and shame you carry around with you. Instead, begin to heal the wounds of past relationships by talking to a professional counselor or better, talking to the individual that you have hurt directly by your addiction. Let go of the need to compare yourself to others. This happens quite a bit in recovery as many compare number of days, weeks, months, or years of sobriety that someone else has. Be happy for them, learn from them but focus on your time. Whatever you have is an accomplishment.
No person on this planet is perfect. Let go of trying to be perfect in all areas of your life. Give life your all, learn from your experiences, and set realistic goals. Be humble, live simply, and learn to forgive.
Letting Go in Recovery
In many ways, recovery is a process of letting go. It is not just letting go of the addiction itself, but also the behaviors that enable it. Some of the things you must release in order to progress in recovery include:
Being a victim: Addiction is painful and many who struggle with it believe they have been victimized. Addiction hurts more than just the person who is affected by it—their family and loved ones are also often exposed to pain and struggle as a result. Avoiding the victim mentality is critical, and letting go of it is just as important. It does not contribute positively to recovery. Rather than falling into that mindset, focus on what makes you happy and list the things for which you are grateful. This can help keep things in perspective when times get tough.
Beating yourself up: Everyone makes mistakes and often those in recovery struggle with letting go of their past. Similarly to the victim mindset, beating yourself up for past actions or experiences does not contribute positively to recovery. Rather than focusing on things you cannot change, focus on how you can learn and grow from those experiences. Calling yourself names, or thinking poorly of yourself—especially if you have experienced relapse—will not help you get back on feet. Recovery is not easy, and beating yourself up will not make the process more successful.
Comparing yourself to others: It can be easy to lose sight of your progress when you continuously compare yourself to others. Each person is in a different stage of recovery and has varying experiences. It is also easy to view other people’s lives unrealistically. This is especially true when viewing others through the lens of social media or online representation. People often only share what they want others to know, and can leave out the other, less positive aspects of their lives.
Trying to be perfect: It is impossible to be perfect, and the journey in recovery will not be without mistakes or steps back. It is important to consider the bigger picture and how everything contributes to your overall success. Without mistakes or setbacks, you would be unable to learn and grow as a result. Giving your all, learning from your experiences, and setting realistic goals is the best you can do.
Waiting until the right moment: There is no such thing as “the right time”. People may put off entering recovery because they are waiting for what they think is the right time, but truthfully, there is no perfect moment. Achieving sobriety is a decision you should make now. There is no right time; getting help for addiction does not become easier as more time passes. The sooner you begin your journey, the sooner you can enjoy the successes of sobriety.
