“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)
What do you do when God brings someone back into your life who you used to use with?
Do you show them grace and mercy like Jesus has shown you, or do you turn away because they remind you of a life you fought hard to leave behind?
Recently, I had to face that question for myself.
I’ll be honest—everything in me wanted to ignore this person.
Seeing their name brought me back to my past. For a moment, I wasn’t looking at the situation through the eyes of who I am today. I was looking at it through the memories of who I used to be.
And that’s when God began dealing with my heart.
My Past Is Not My Identity
I had to remind myself of something important:
My past is no longer my identity.
I am forgiven.
I am redeemed.
I belong to Jesus.
God did not bring me out of my past so I could spend the rest of my life afraid of it. My testimony is evidence of what Jesus has done in me.
So I reached back out.
And when I did, I discovered that this person was asking me for help.
That hit me.
What might I have missed if I hadn’t been obedient in that moment?
A chance to listen?
An opportunity to encourage someone?
A moment to show another person the same compassion and mercy Jesus has shown me?
When Pride Looks Like Protection
God showed me something else in that moment: I was allowing pride to get in the way.
I was so focused on separating myself from who I used to be that I almost overlooked the person standing in front of me now.
There is wisdom in protecting our recovery. There is wisdom in having boundaries. Not everyone from our past is meant to have the same access to our lives that they once had.
Grace does not mean abandoning healthy boundaries.
But boundaries and compassion can exist together.
I can say, “I can’t go back there,” while still saying, “I see you.”
I can remember where Jesus brought me from without returning to where He delivered me from.
And instead of allowing my past to make me ashamed, I can allow it to deepen my compassion for someone who may still be struggling in a place I understand all too well.
Jesus Is Still Teaching Me
I love learning these lessons from Jesus—even when they require me to look honestly at my own heart.
He is still teaching me.
Still correcting me.
Still humbling me.
Still shaping me.
And sometimes the lesson comes through the very things I would rather avoid.
Maybe part of redemption is realizing that when God heals an area of our lives, we no longer have to run from every reminder of it. We can stand firmly in who Christ has made us while allowing Him to use our testimony to show someone else that change really is possible.
That doesn’t mean we become everyone’s rescuer.
Jesus is the Savior. We are not.
But we can be willing vessels. We can listen. We can encourage. We can point someone toward Jesus. And when God gives us an opportunity to extend grace, we can remember just how much grace has been extended to us.
A Question for the Heart
Is there someone you have been tempted to dismiss because they remind you of a version of yourself that you would rather forget?
Before you respond—or don’t respond—take it to Jesus.
Ask Him for discernment.
Ask Him whether you need a boundary, an open hand, or both.
And most importantly, remember this:
Never let shame over who you used to be make you forget who Jesus has redeemed you to be.
Reflection Questions
1. Is there anything from my past that still causes me to forget who I am in Christ?
2. Have I ever mistaken pride, fear, or shame for a healthy boundary?
3. How can I show grace to others without compromising the growth God has worked in my life?
4. Is God giving me an opportunity to encourage someone through a place He has already brought me through?
5. How can my testimony point someone toward Jesus rather than back toward my past?
Prayer
Jesus, thank You for the grace and mercy You have shown me. Thank You that my past no longer defines me and that I am redeemed through You.
Keep molding me, Jesus.
Keep my heart humble, my eyes open, and my spirit willing. Give me wisdom to know when to step forward and when to maintain a boundary. Never let pride, fear, or shame keep me from being obedient to You.
When You place someone in my path who needs compassion, help me remember the compassion You have shown me. Let my past become a testimony of Your goodness instead of a place of shame.
Use my life to point people toward You.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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